TYLER SHANDRO HIDES UNDER HIS DESK AND SUCKS THE MARROW FROM A BUFFALO SKULL

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This is a painting of Minister of Health Tyler Shandro folded up under his desk sucking the marrow from a buffalo skull like a gingery Gollum. Above him, the details of a $200 million privately run orthopedic surgery facility are being hammered out. Shandro opened the meeting by holding the skull above his head and delivered an impassioned speech, the likes of which precious few Albertans have witnessed.

 

“This skull symbolizes the rugged individualist spirit of Alberta that you are heroically championing. A gun oil boot-strap Alberta where only the children of rich daddies get health care! Towering facilities, opaque like bitumen sucking public money into an unblinking eye! Destitute country sides, emaciated and doctorless! And anyone stupid enough to stay will answer to none other than the blind justice of fiat currency! Let them taste the wrath of one thousand angry suns!” then he jammed his keys into the skull and shotgunned the marrow like an ice cold brewski.

 

His audience was immediately sickened. Wretching quickly gave way to geysers of loose vomit pluming from mouths agape. Shandro crawled underneath his desk with his savoury treat and a smile on his face. He health ministered good today. Good Tyler.

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20'x30', mixed media on canvas

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Aug 17, 2020

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